13. Small World Application

Since our last post a few things have happened.

Ashley met with Pastor Nelson Chapman to gain insight on private/independent Korean adoptions.  He seemed to know the same info we do and is currently in the process of finalizing two adoptions himself.  He is a great support and we will stay in contact as our own process progresses.

We now know that in order for a private adoption to be legal it has to follow three separate areas of law.  It must fulfill Korean Law, U.S. Federal Law, and Texas State Law (since that is where we hold our residency).  The good news is that Texas state law basically defers to Federal Law so we only need to worry about two of the three.  We pursued finding an American adoption agency that would work with us and complete a home study.  A home study will navigate us through all of the various clearances we need to get (FBI, Child Abuse registry, and so on...) and is necessary to fulfill U.S. Federal Adoption Laws under the Hague Convention.

Last weekend we officially submitted an adoption application with Small World Adoption. http://smallworldadoption.com/

Today we received this email:

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Chapman,

 Thank you for your recent application to our Domestic program.  Upon review of your application, we have found it to be in accordance with the requirements of this program.  Congratulations!.... "

 

We'll spare you from the rest of the boring legalities, however, you may have noticed they said "domestic program."  That is because we are getting our home study through Small World in hopes of finding a match for private Korean adoption but we will be placed on their domestic list as well.  They told us that we look good on paper (to a birth mother) because we do not already have children and have sweet jobs (pilot/teacher). However, birth mothers almost never chose families who live overseas because that is a huge emotional leap.  And we completely understand not wanting to send a baby to Korea, we had our own reservations before we moved here and North Korea isn't the best neighbor.

 

So now we just have to wait patiently, hope and pray for a connection to be made, and complete piles of tedious paperwork. 

 

In other news, Ashley is beginning Hangul lessons (the written language of Korea) and it has started to snow on the ROK.  Watching snowfall from our 6th floor apartment is pretty spectacular!  Patrick recently returned home from a week long planning conference in the Philippines and has been flying a ton.  We are both tired, but life is good. :)  

 

 

12. The Letter is OUT!

I did not become a lawyer for a reason.

However, I am finding myself reading laws left and right in an attempt to protect ourselves and possibly our future child from a legal nightmare.  There are only two adoption agencies that I know of willing to work with us to do a home study and that is one of the many things we need to make a private adoption legal by U.S. standards. Tomorrow night, I have a Skype meeting with one of them, the director of Small World adoption.  http://smallworldadoption.com/  I am hoping that he can help clear up some of the legal jargon for me.

On Wednesday I have a meeting with Pastor Nelson Chapman of Songtan Central Baptist Church.  He and his wife are in the process of finalizing two independent Korean adoptions so he should have some good wisdom to share.

Now the even bigger news....

Tonight I saw M**** and her husband at bible study.  M**** gave me copies of our letter to a birth mother translated into Korean in a neat little folder.  She said she has been handing them out to all of her contacts but that these ones were for me.  (So excited....I now want to get one framed!) Mr. Joe then explained that he emailed our letter out to over 400 leaders around Korea.  Yes, you read that correctly, 400! So we may adopt a dozen kids now, LOL. He can see when someone has read his email so he is keeping tabs on who has seen it.  The largest church in the world is based in Seoul and the pastor of that church read our letter (the church has over 1 million members)! Check it out here http://english.fgtv.com/

 

I asked Mr. Joe how he thinks the Korean community will react to our letter.  He said that when they read it they will recognize a beautiful mind.  How precious is that?  Thanks Mr. Joe.

So when I titled this post "The Letter is OUT!"... I meant it.  We have no idea how far it has spread or to whom it has reached but it is exciting to think that a future baby Chapman could be a little closer than we realize. We are trying to praise God in all of these little (and BIG) connections that are hopefully going to grow our family.

Thanks for following our journey,
Ashley (and Patrick)

11. Confusion

I titled this post "confusion" because that is what this week has been.  It would be impossible for me to detail all the information that we have come across this week but here's a basic run down.  (We'll start with the good news.)

Our letter to a birth mother was shared with over 100 local businessmen/pastors today!  We are thrilled and hope this will lead us to a connection soon.

I came in contact with a woman who has been trying to complete a private adoption here in Korea for about a year.  She knows the ins and outs of the system far better than we do.  She told me (bluntly-might I add) that there is no way we can adopt from Korea privately because we are simply "out of time."  So...hours of research later...she may be right but she may not.

South Korea is scheduled to join the Hague convention on July 14th of 2014.  This is a good thing because it protects children from human trafficking.  The down side is that Korea really doesn't have it's act together as far as the adoption process goes.  The process has gotten much worse over the last ten years.  The country has more babies than it can handle, prides itself on taking care of it's own (rejecting help), and is limiting international adoptions (again, out of pride). 

After July, private adoptions will be illegal and an agency must be used.

So, you would think we have until July to find a match, right?  According to this lady, all adoption paperwork must be completed 190 days prior to the Hague convention going into effect (Feb 14, 2014).  In order for the paperwork to be complete you need several (and I am using that term lightly) documents including FBI background checks (6 weeks for completion), child abuse background checks (6 weeks for completion), and a home study (2-6 months for completion).  We have to comply with all U.S. Federal Laws, Texas State Laws, and South Korean Laws.

From my research, I cannot find anything saying all of this needs to be completed 190 days out.  However, we are getting fingerprinted tomorrow and have contacted several agencies asking for rush home studies. 

This is definitely an all or nothing season for us.  We are working really hard in obedience to what we feel called to do not knowing if anything will come of it.  It is exhausting but at least we will know at the end that we did our best regardless of the outcome.  Please keep all of this in your prayers!

10. Baby Box Closed

Remember the Baby Box video?  I know several of you wept over those babies just as I did.  You can read below about the closure of the Baby Box.  I have emailed this information to M**** in hopes that she can get Pastor Jeong our letter. In a previous post I mentioned that M**** told me "sometimes he meets the mothers."  We don't know if anything will come of this but it breaks our hearts to know that the Box was receiving an average of 18 babies per month and has been shut down this week.  Where will those babies go? No one knows what will happen to the Baby Box just yet or if they will relocate but we will do our best to support the organization in whatever decision they make.   Welcome to MPAK

---

A Tragic Decision by the City of Seoul on Baby Box Posted: 27 Nov 2013 12:56 PM PST Below is the statement that came from Ms. Young Ran Jeong of the Jusarang Community Church, which houses the Baby Box. I ask for your prayers that God will reach out to the hearts of the government officials to protect the lives of the innocent babies. I love many things about Korea, but certainly this is not one of them. ---------------------- Here is Ms. Young Ran Jeong's message: This morning we received a call from the person in charge of the Baby Box at the Kwanak-Ku office.  I was told that the city of Seoul and the Seoul Metropolitan Children’s Welfare Center (서울시아동복지센터) and the Seoul City Children’s Hospital (서울시립어린이병원) had a discussion and they have decided they will no longer accept the babies abandoned through the Baby Box. They have concluded that other than in emergency situations, they cannot accept additional babies as there is no spaces available in the institutions in the Seoul areas.  They told the Jusarang Church (where the Baby Box is) that it would be up to them to take care of the abandoned babies from now on.  The city was scheduled to come on Thursday to pick up the children, but they will not do that now.  They also stated that the best solution is for them to move to another area region other than Seoul.  The other regions have enough rooms to accommodate the children, so it would be good for the Baby Box to move there.  I asked whether it would be possible for the city of Seoul to contact the regional areas and arrange to have the children be transported to those regions.  But their excuse was that this would not be possible without changing the administrative related laws. I also asked the city employee to help the Jusarang to host a children’s center, but was told that if the condition was ideal for Jusarang this would be no problem (stipulation that Jusarang does not qualify under the current facility regulation as they are not legally approved to take care of children as the facility is too small).     They were clearly aware of our limitations, and I could not believe the city was telling me these things. The room at our facility for the newborn babies barely can hold seven babies…and what are we suppose to do for all the children that continue to come to our care…and we can’t even help with the birth registration matters. I think the bottom line message from Seoul is that they want us to close the Baby Box.  Because there have been lots of pressures in the past to close the Baby Box, now the government is using this devious scheme to shut us down.   Why can’t they understand that closing the Baby Box is not the solution? Outside the weather is very cold, and how can they think in this way when just a few days ago there was another news article where a baby was discovered abandoned somewhere and the baby was in a critical condition!!!! We are at a loss as to what to do as they didn’t even give us how much time we have, but they just dropped the news on us.   We can only pray. I ask for your prayers that this sticky situation will be resolved soon. ----------------- Young Ran Jeong's message in original 오늘 이른 아침 관악구청 베이비박스 담당직원으로부터 전화한통을 받았습니다. 서울시와 서울시아동복지센터와 서울시립어린이병원과 이야기를 나누었는데 더이상 베이비박스에 들어온 아기들을 받을 수 없다는 것입니다. 정말로 긴급히 병원에 가서 꼭 치료를 받아야 하는 아기를 제외하고는 더이상 받아 줄 시설이 서울에는 없다는 것입니다. 이제부터는 주사랑공동체에서 알아서 하라고 하더군요. 낼 목요일이 정기적으로 아기를 데리러 오는 날인데 낼부터 아기를 데리러 올 수 없답니다. 가장 좋은 방법은 빨리 지방으로 이사를 가는 것이랍니다. 지방 시설에는 자리가 많이 나기때문에 그쪽으로 베이비박스가 가면 괜찮다는 것입니다.   그렇다면 현재 베이비박스에 보호되는 아기들을 서울시와 연계해서 지방으로 보내면 되지 않겠느냐고 했더니 행정절...차상 법을 다시 바꿔야 해서 안된다는 것입니다. 그럼 우리가 일시보호소를 운영할 수 있게 해 달라고 하니 조건만 갖추어준다면 얼마든지 할 수 있다는 겁니다. 주사랑공동체 열악한 환경을 뻔히 알면서 어떻게 이런 말이 나올 수 있는지...신생아실로 쓰고 있는 믿음방은 신생아가 7명만 누워있어도 어른들 자리가 없는데 앞으로 베이비박스에 보호되는 아기들을 어떻게 해야 할지...그렇다고 출생신고를 할 수 있게 해 주는 것도 아닌데 말이죠..  결국은 베이비박스 문 닫으라는 소리나 다름없는 거죠. 베이비박스 폐쇄압박이 직접적으로 먹히지 않으니 이렇게 우회적으로 돌려 이야기는 하는 정부의 형태가 참으로 어이가 없고 기가막힐 따름입니다. 이제는 베이비박스 문을 닫는다고 해서 해결될 일이 아니라는 것을 왜 모를까요? 날씨는 점점 추워지고 있고 며칠전에도 바깥에서 버려져 아기의 생명이 위험해진 기사를 봤을텐데도 이런 생각이라니!!!! 언제까지 기한이 정해진 것도 아니고 어떻게 해야 할지 참 막막합니다. 현재로써는 기도할 뿐입니다.  이 문제가 원만히 잘 해결 될 수 있기를 간절히 기도해 주세요.

9. Happy Thanksgiving

On Sunday nights Patrick and I attend a couples bible study.  This last week, M**** and her husband, Joe, happened to come because they know the couple who hosts.  It was a pleasant surprise and we hope they come again!  It was great to hear about the Korean perspective on marriage.  Joe is a city planner and he told us all about his job and why/how he has so many connections in our city.  This man has one big job to do!

On Monday, November 25th I gave our letter to M**** and asked her to review it.  I asked her to make sure it was culturally polite and for any other feedback she may have.  I received this email back from her on Thanksgiving.  We don't quite understand the letter but I did ask a Korean friend what the newspaper was that she mentioned and it is not a large newspaper like you may think.  It is a small newspaper siting good happenings in the area.  I guess they think we are a "good happening!" This year we are grateful for doors being opened and unexpected relationships here in Korea.


Hi, Ashley

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

I read your letter and it was good culturally and emotionally and politely.

I translated your letter (politely and naturally and emotionally ) and sent it to my husband.  He said it was good and he as a generall director of Shalom Nabi NGO suggested that he will email it to a lot of members including pastors of big churches conected to the organization and let it advertised on the local newspapers that has christian view points and is popular. He says his organization will help you actively with a lot of ways with the letter.

 

I will add you the translation below even though i don't think your computer can show you korean letters.

Can you send me your English letter by e maill?

 

blessings,

M****

 

 

아기 어머니께, 

 

      안녕하세요? 저희는 패트릭(Patrick James Chapman, 남편) 과 애쉴리 (Ashley Lara Chapman, 부인) 라고 합니다. 당신의 소중한 아기를 저희의 사랑스런 자녀로 키우고 싶은 간절한 소망을

전달하고 싶어 이 편지를 씁니다.  

 

     저희는 많은 엄마들이 자녀들에 대해 힘든 결정을 해야 할 때가 있음을 잘 알고 있습니다. 자녀를 사랑하고 키우고 싶지만, 어쩔수 없는 이유들로 아이를 키울 수 없는 상황이 있음을 잘 이해하고 있습니다. 그런 상황에 처한 엄마들이 자신의 아이가 화목하고, 안전하며, 하나님을 사랑하는 좋은 가정에서 양육되기를 바라시는 하나의 방법으로 저희를 깊이 생각해 주시길 소망합니다.  

 

      먼저, 저희에 관해 소개합니다. 저희부부는 미국인이며, 현재 평택에 살고 있습니다. 현재 31세로 결혼한지 6년이 되었습니다. 남편은 4남 3녀의 형제가 있으며, 미국 콜로라도 출신입니다. 공과대학을 나왔고, 경영대학원 석사를 마쳤으며, 7년간 공군파일럿으로 근무하고 있습니다. 부인은 미국 캘리포니아 출신으로 4명의 남자형제가 있습니다. 교육대학을 나왔으며, 7년간 초등교사, 영어교사, 교회에서 어린이 사역 책임자로 일해 왔습니다. 아이들과 아주 잘 지낼 수 있는 작은 귀여운 강아지도 있습니다. 저희는 항상 부모가 되기를 바래왔고, 단란하고 화목하고 안정적인 가정을 이루어왔으며, 마음 깊이 아이를 키울 준비가 되었음을 느낍니다.  

 

     저희 집의 환경 또한 아이를 맞이할 준비가 되어있습니다. 3개방과 2개의 욕실이 있는 아파트에 살고 있으며 병원도 바로 길 건너에 있습니다. 또래 어린아이들과 같이 어울리며 삶을 나눌 수 있는 공동체와 친구들이 근처에 있습니다. 또한 저는 엄마로서 저희의 자녀를 잘 양육하기 위해 집에서 헌신할 것입니다.  

 

     저희는 모든 엄마들이 자녀의 복지에 대해 걱정하실 거라는 걸 압니다. 앞으로의 부모가 될 사람으로서, 몇가지 약속을 드릴 수 있습니다. 부모로서 이 아이를 우리자신이 나은 자녀처럼, 또 하나님이 우리를 사랑하신 것 처럼 그런 무조건적인 사랑으로 사랑할 것입니다. 또 우리자녀에게 하나님을 알게하고 삶속에서 하나님을 신뢰하며 살도록 가르칠 것입니다. 아이의 타고난 민족적 문화적인 유산을 존중할 것임은 물론, 친부모님이 자녀에게 바라는 어떤 희망사항도 존중할 것입니다. 마지막으로, 우리자녀에게 장차 좋은 교육도 제공할 것이고 여행기회도 줄것이며 그래서 성인으로 자라감에 따라 관심있어 하는 것은 무엇이든지 추구할 수 있는 기회를 제공하려고 노력할 것입니다.  

 

     저희는 개인적인 민간차원의 자녀 입양을 바라고 있습니다. 이 입양 방법이 저희가 아이를 신생아 때부터 키울 수 있는 방법이라고 알고 있기 때문입니다. 만약 우리가 공공기관을 통한다면, 아이가 태어난지 6개월 이후가 되어야 입양 절차를 시작 할 수 있으며, 법적 절차상 18개월에서 2년 정도의 시간을 더 기다려야 합니다. 저희는 아이의 삶에서 이 초기의 시간들이 아이들의 발달과 성공에 중요한 역할을 한다고 믿습니다. 당신의 아기에 관련해서 저희와 만나기를 원하시면, 꼭 연락 부탁드립니다. 의사소통을 도와줄 친절한 한국인 친구에게 연락주셔도 감사하겠습니다.  

 

패트릭과 애쉴리

8. Mr. Lim

This weekend our friends (We'll call them the L's) who are also looking to privately adopt got a call from the famous tailor in town, Mr. Lim.  Mr. Lim is well known in the community for making party suits and dresses and works very closely with the base.  Anyone who has been to Osan AB in the last ten years has probably had something made by Mr. Lim! 

He said that he has two adoption contacts.  One is a birthmother with a two and four year old and the other mother has a three month old.  The mothers are very young and in no position to continue raising their children.  The L's don't know which children would fit their family best and would like to meet the families first.  Since they know we are interested as well, they are keeping us informed and this is also a potential lead for us. We don't want to bring two children into our home at this time but we think a three month old would fit perfectly.

We have a feeling that this is sort of the way the private adoption world works.  One day you are a family of two and the next day you get a call that rocks your world.  We are trying, as best we can, to prepare ourselves for what may come.  We know that we have an amazing support group (YOU) and that everyone would jump right on board if we "get the call." 

7. A Hiccup in the Road

As I began to write the first post on this blog I looked up some private adoption facts to make sure I shared the correct information with you all.  When I typed "private adoption korea" into google, the following link popped up, please read:

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-03-05/news/ct-met-korea-adoption-baby-20130305_1_christopher-duquet-sehwa-private-adoption

As you can imagine, the thought of this happening to our family and our child is terrifying.  I have started to research more information about private adoption to make sure we follow the correct legal procedures.  We also need to finish our adoption letter with the legal information for a future birth mom. 

I came across a really cool organization in my research.  www.mpak.com
Here is MPAK's mission:
As a Nonprofit 501 (c)(3) organization, MPAK's mission is to promote adoption in Korea, and to bring about positive changes to the Korean adoption culture and to advocate the needs of homeless children to have homes of their own. MPAK was established in April 1999 in the US by Steve Morrison, an adoptee who has lived in an orphange in Korea for eight years before being adopted at age 14 by the Morrison family in the US. MPAK was expanded to Korea in November 1999. Currently there are 28 regional MPAK support groups spread throughout Korea, and five in the US (LA, Valley, OC, NY/NJ, San Diego). We also have many families that live elsewhere but are part of MPAK, and we welcome all the adoptive families that wish to be a part of this blog.

I contacted MPAK and asked them to assist us with where to turn for more information on legal advice.  Hoping to hear back soon! Here is a link to Stephen's blog:

http://mpakusa.blogspot.kr/

Another MPAK connection:
When Martha James came to visit we were randomly asked to be in a Korean documentary about foreign backpackers.  We happened to be wearing backpacks when we were approached since we had a big day of travel ahead of us.  We told them that we weren't really backpackers but I think the combination of our willingness to participate, the fact that we are American and technically had backpacks, and Martha's beautiful red hair won them over.  We traveled to Seoul the following week to spend two days exploring while being followed by three Korean film students with cameras.  We became good friends with Nina, Oliver, and Morning Star over those two days.  At one point during the filming Morning Star began to ask me if I have kids or want kids.  I told her we haven't be blessed with children yet and are considering Korean private adoption.  She shared with me information about an upcoming Korean Adoption Event.  Turns out it was a MPAK event!

Patrick and I attempted to attend that event the same weekend we were in Seoul for the marriage conference but ended up at the wrong train station.  Gumcheon station is not to be confused with Gumchon station! We were an hour and a half train ride from where we were supposed to be.   However, it was nice to at least be in it together. That was the same weekend that we began writing our letter to a future birth mom and I think missing the conference gave us a little more amunition to make the weekend "worth it" by preparing our letter.  While Patrick and I were in the car making notes about what would be in our letter, an ad came on the radio for military legal assistance.  The advertisement said that they are able to help with adoption! We will be looking into what sort of legal assistance we can get through the military channels.  Why didn't we think of free military legal assistance sooner?