10. Baby Box Closed

Remember the Baby Box video?  I know several of you wept over those babies just as I did.  You can read below about the closure of the Baby Box.  I have emailed this information to M**** in hopes that she can get Pastor Jeong our letter. In a previous post I mentioned that M**** told me "sometimes he meets the mothers."  We don't know if anything will come of this but it breaks our hearts to know that the Box was receiving an average of 18 babies per month and has been shut down this week.  Where will those babies go? No one knows what will happen to the Baby Box just yet or if they will relocate but we will do our best to support the organization in whatever decision they make.   Welcome to MPAK

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A Tragic Decision by the City of Seoul on Baby Box Posted: 27 Nov 2013 12:56 PM PST Below is the statement that came from Ms. Young Ran Jeong of the Jusarang Community Church, which houses the Baby Box. I ask for your prayers that God will reach out to the hearts of the government officials to protect the lives of the innocent babies. I love many things about Korea, but certainly this is not one of them. ---------------------- Here is Ms. Young Ran Jeong's message: This morning we received a call from the person in charge of the Baby Box at the Kwanak-Ku office.  I was told that the city of Seoul and the Seoul Metropolitan Children’s Welfare Center (서울시아동복지센터) and the Seoul City Children’s Hospital (서울시립어린이병원) had a discussion and they have decided they will no longer accept the babies abandoned through the Baby Box. They have concluded that other than in emergency situations, they cannot accept additional babies as there is no spaces available in the institutions in the Seoul areas.  They told the Jusarang Church (where the Baby Box is) that it would be up to them to take care of the abandoned babies from now on.  The city was scheduled to come on Thursday to pick up the children, but they will not do that now.  They also stated that the best solution is for them to move to another area region other than Seoul.  The other regions have enough rooms to accommodate the children, so it would be good for the Baby Box to move there.  I asked whether it would be possible for the city of Seoul to contact the regional areas and arrange to have the children be transported to those regions.  But their excuse was that this would not be possible without changing the administrative related laws. I also asked the city employee to help the Jusarang to host a children’s center, but was told that if the condition was ideal for Jusarang this would be no problem (stipulation that Jusarang does not qualify under the current facility regulation as they are not legally approved to take care of children as the facility is too small).     They were clearly aware of our limitations, and I could not believe the city was telling me these things. The room at our facility for the newborn babies barely can hold seven babies…and what are we suppose to do for all the children that continue to come to our care…and we can’t even help with the birth registration matters. I think the bottom line message from Seoul is that they want us to close the Baby Box.  Because there have been lots of pressures in the past to close the Baby Box, now the government is using this devious scheme to shut us down.   Why can’t they understand that closing the Baby Box is not the solution? Outside the weather is very cold, and how can they think in this way when just a few days ago there was another news article where a baby was discovered abandoned somewhere and the baby was in a critical condition!!!! We are at a loss as to what to do as they didn’t even give us how much time we have, but they just dropped the news on us.   We can only pray. I ask for your prayers that this sticky situation will be resolved soon. ----------------- Young Ran Jeong's message in original 오늘 이른 아침 관악구청 베이비박스 담당직원으로부터 전화한통을 받았습니다. 서울시와 서울시아동복지센터와 서울시립어린이병원과 이야기를 나누었는데 더이상 베이비박스에 들어온 아기들을 받을 수 없다는 것입니다. 정말로 긴급히 병원에 가서 꼭 치료를 받아야 하는 아기를 제외하고는 더이상 받아 줄 시설이 서울에는 없다는 것입니다. 이제부터는 주사랑공동체에서 알아서 하라고 하더군요. 낼 목요일이 정기적으로 아기를 데리러 오는 날인데 낼부터 아기를 데리러 올 수 없답니다. 가장 좋은 방법은 빨리 지방으로 이사를 가는 것이랍니다. 지방 시설에는 자리가 많이 나기때문에 그쪽으로 베이비박스가 가면 괜찮다는 것입니다.   그렇다면 현재 베이비박스에 보호되는 아기들을 서울시와 연계해서 지방으로 보내면 되지 않겠느냐고 했더니 행정절...차상 법을 다시 바꿔야 해서 안된다는 것입니다. 그럼 우리가 일시보호소를 운영할 수 있게 해 달라고 하니 조건만 갖추어준다면 얼마든지 할 수 있다는 겁니다. 주사랑공동체 열악한 환경을 뻔히 알면서 어떻게 이런 말이 나올 수 있는지...신생아실로 쓰고 있는 믿음방은 신생아가 7명만 누워있어도 어른들 자리가 없는데 앞으로 베이비박스에 보호되는 아기들을 어떻게 해야 할지...그렇다고 출생신고를 할 수 있게 해 주는 것도 아닌데 말이죠..  결국은 베이비박스 문 닫으라는 소리나 다름없는 거죠. 베이비박스 폐쇄압박이 직접적으로 먹히지 않으니 이렇게 우회적으로 돌려 이야기는 하는 정부의 형태가 참으로 어이가 없고 기가막힐 따름입니다. 이제는 베이비박스 문을 닫는다고 해서 해결될 일이 아니라는 것을 왜 모를까요? 날씨는 점점 추워지고 있고 며칠전에도 바깥에서 버려져 아기의 생명이 위험해진 기사를 봤을텐데도 이런 생각이라니!!!! 언제까지 기한이 정해진 것도 아니고 어떻게 해야 할지 참 막막합니다. 현재로써는 기도할 뿐입니다.  이 문제가 원만히 잘 해결 될 수 있기를 간절히 기도해 주세요.

9. Happy Thanksgiving

On Sunday nights Patrick and I attend a couples bible study.  This last week, M**** and her husband, Joe, happened to come because they know the couple who hosts.  It was a pleasant surprise and we hope they come again!  It was great to hear about the Korean perspective on marriage.  Joe is a city planner and he told us all about his job and why/how he has so many connections in our city.  This man has one big job to do!

On Monday, November 25th I gave our letter to M**** and asked her to review it.  I asked her to make sure it was culturally polite and for any other feedback she may have.  I received this email back from her on Thanksgiving.  We don't quite understand the letter but I did ask a Korean friend what the newspaper was that she mentioned and it is not a large newspaper like you may think.  It is a small newspaper siting good happenings in the area.  I guess they think we are a "good happening!" This year we are grateful for doors being opened and unexpected relationships here in Korea.


Hi, Ashley

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

I read your letter and it was good culturally and emotionally and politely.

I translated your letter (politely and naturally and emotionally ) and sent it to my husband.  He said it was good and he as a generall director of Shalom Nabi NGO suggested that he will email it to a lot of members including pastors of big churches conected to the organization and let it advertised on the local newspapers that has christian view points and is popular. He says his organization will help you actively with a lot of ways with the letter.

 

I will add you the translation below even though i don't think your computer can show you korean letters.

Can you send me your English letter by e maill?

 

blessings,

M****

 

 

아기 어머니께, 

 

      안녕하세요? 저희는 패트릭(Patrick James Chapman, 남편) 과 애쉴리 (Ashley Lara Chapman, 부인) 라고 합니다. 당신의 소중한 아기를 저희의 사랑스런 자녀로 키우고 싶은 간절한 소망을

전달하고 싶어 이 편지를 씁니다.  

 

     저희는 많은 엄마들이 자녀들에 대해 힘든 결정을 해야 할 때가 있음을 잘 알고 있습니다. 자녀를 사랑하고 키우고 싶지만, 어쩔수 없는 이유들로 아이를 키울 수 없는 상황이 있음을 잘 이해하고 있습니다. 그런 상황에 처한 엄마들이 자신의 아이가 화목하고, 안전하며, 하나님을 사랑하는 좋은 가정에서 양육되기를 바라시는 하나의 방법으로 저희를 깊이 생각해 주시길 소망합니다.  

 

      먼저, 저희에 관해 소개합니다. 저희부부는 미국인이며, 현재 평택에 살고 있습니다. 현재 31세로 결혼한지 6년이 되었습니다. 남편은 4남 3녀의 형제가 있으며, 미국 콜로라도 출신입니다. 공과대학을 나왔고, 경영대학원 석사를 마쳤으며, 7년간 공군파일럿으로 근무하고 있습니다. 부인은 미국 캘리포니아 출신으로 4명의 남자형제가 있습니다. 교육대학을 나왔으며, 7년간 초등교사, 영어교사, 교회에서 어린이 사역 책임자로 일해 왔습니다. 아이들과 아주 잘 지낼 수 있는 작은 귀여운 강아지도 있습니다. 저희는 항상 부모가 되기를 바래왔고, 단란하고 화목하고 안정적인 가정을 이루어왔으며, 마음 깊이 아이를 키울 준비가 되었음을 느낍니다.  

 

     저희 집의 환경 또한 아이를 맞이할 준비가 되어있습니다. 3개방과 2개의 욕실이 있는 아파트에 살고 있으며 병원도 바로 길 건너에 있습니다. 또래 어린아이들과 같이 어울리며 삶을 나눌 수 있는 공동체와 친구들이 근처에 있습니다. 또한 저는 엄마로서 저희의 자녀를 잘 양육하기 위해 집에서 헌신할 것입니다.  

 

     저희는 모든 엄마들이 자녀의 복지에 대해 걱정하실 거라는 걸 압니다. 앞으로의 부모가 될 사람으로서, 몇가지 약속을 드릴 수 있습니다. 부모로서 이 아이를 우리자신이 나은 자녀처럼, 또 하나님이 우리를 사랑하신 것 처럼 그런 무조건적인 사랑으로 사랑할 것입니다. 또 우리자녀에게 하나님을 알게하고 삶속에서 하나님을 신뢰하며 살도록 가르칠 것입니다. 아이의 타고난 민족적 문화적인 유산을 존중할 것임은 물론, 친부모님이 자녀에게 바라는 어떤 희망사항도 존중할 것입니다. 마지막으로, 우리자녀에게 장차 좋은 교육도 제공할 것이고 여행기회도 줄것이며 그래서 성인으로 자라감에 따라 관심있어 하는 것은 무엇이든지 추구할 수 있는 기회를 제공하려고 노력할 것입니다.  

 

     저희는 개인적인 민간차원의 자녀 입양을 바라고 있습니다. 이 입양 방법이 저희가 아이를 신생아 때부터 키울 수 있는 방법이라고 알고 있기 때문입니다. 만약 우리가 공공기관을 통한다면, 아이가 태어난지 6개월 이후가 되어야 입양 절차를 시작 할 수 있으며, 법적 절차상 18개월에서 2년 정도의 시간을 더 기다려야 합니다. 저희는 아이의 삶에서 이 초기의 시간들이 아이들의 발달과 성공에 중요한 역할을 한다고 믿습니다. 당신의 아기에 관련해서 저희와 만나기를 원하시면, 꼭 연락 부탁드립니다. 의사소통을 도와줄 친절한 한국인 친구에게 연락주셔도 감사하겠습니다.  

 

패트릭과 애쉴리

8. Mr. Lim

This weekend our friends (We'll call them the L's) who are also looking to privately adopt got a call from the famous tailor in town, Mr. Lim.  Mr. Lim is well known in the community for making party suits and dresses and works very closely with the base.  Anyone who has been to Osan AB in the last ten years has probably had something made by Mr. Lim! 

He said that he has two adoption contacts.  One is a birthmother with a two and four year old and the other mother has a three month old.  The mothers are very young and in no position to continue raising their children.  The L's don't know which children would fit their family best and would like to meet the families first.  Since they know we are interested as well, they are keeping us informed and this is also a potential lead for us. We don't want to bring two children into our home at this time but we think a three month old would fit perfectly.

We have a feeling that this is sort of the way the private adoption world works.  One day you are a family of two and the next day you get a call that rocks your world.  We are trying, as best we can, to prepare ourselves for what may come.  We know that we have an amazing support group (YOU) and that everyone would jump right on board if we "get the call." 

7. A Hiccup in the Road

As I began to write the first post on this blog I looked up some private adoption facts to make sure I shared the correct information with you all.  When I typed "private adoption korea" into google, the following link popped up, please read:

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-03-05/news/ct-met-korea-adoption-baby-20130305_1_christopher-duquet-sehwa-private-adoption

As you can imagine, the thought of this happening to our family and our child is terrifying.  I have started to research more information about private adoption to make sure we follow the correct legal procedures.  We also need to finish our adoption letter with the legal information for a future birth mom. 

I came across a really cool organization in my research.  www.mpak.com
Here is MPAK's mission:
As a Nonprofit 501 (c)(3) organization, MPAK's mission is to promote adoption in Korea, and to bring about positive changes to the Korean adoption culture and to advocate the needs of homeless children to have homes of their own. MPAK was established in April 1999 in the US by Steve Morrison, an adoptee who has lived in an orphange in Korea for eight years before being adopted at age 14 by the Morrison family in the US. MPAK was expanded to Korea in November 1999. Currently there are 28 regional MPAK support groups spread throughout Korea, and five in the US (LA, Valley, OC, NY/NJ, San Diego). We also have many families that live elsewhere but are part of MPAK, and we welcome all the adoptive families that wish to be a part of this blog.

I contacted MPAK and asked them to assist us with where to turn for more information on legal advice.  Hoping to hear back soon! Here is a link to Stephen's blog:

http://mpakusa.blogspot.kr/

Another MPAK connection:
When Martha James came to visit we were randomly asked to be in a Korean documentary about foreign backpackers.  We happened to be wearing backpacks when we were approached since we had a big day of travel ahead of us.  We told them that we weren't really backpackers but I think the combination of our willingness to participate, the fact that we are American and technically had backpacks, and Martha's beautiful red hair won them over.  We traveled to Seoul the following week to spend two days exploring while being followed by three Korean film students with cameras.  We became good friends with Nina, Oliver, and Morning Star over those two days.  At one point during the filming Morning Star began to ask me if I have kids or want kids.  I told her we haven't be blessed with children yet and are considering Korean private adoption.  She shared with me information about an upcoming Korean Adoption Event.  Turns out it was a MPAK event!

Patrick and I attempted to attend that event the same weekend we were in Seoul for the marriage conference but ended up at the wrong train station.  Gumcheon station is not to be confused with Gumchon station! We were an hour and a half train ride from where we were supposed to be.   However, it was nice to at least be in it together. That was the same weekend that we began writing our letter to a future birth mom and I think missing the conference gave us a little more amunition to make the weekend "worth it" by preparing our letter.  While Patrick and I were in the car making notes about what would be in our letter, an ad came on the radio for military legal assistance.  The advertisement said that they are able to help with adoption! We will be looking into what sort of legal assistance we can get through the military channels.  Why didn't we think of free military legal assistance sooner?

6. Letter to a Birth Mother

Patrick sat down and wrote this letter from the notes we had made in the car on our trip to Seoul.   We would love your input and suggestions on how to make it even better if you have them.  We plan to include about ten photos with the letter that represent the family and life this child would be entering.  The photos will be of:
1. our wedding
2. us working with children
3. our living room
4. the child's bedroom  (showing we are prepared) -we need to buy a pack n play now.
5. the view out our balcony of the hospital (showing it is close by)
6. our immediate families (are you guys ok being in this?)
7.  us with our friends who have babies (showing community)

We are trying to keep the letter from us to one page and the second page will be about the process of private adoption and will inform the birth mother of her legal responsibilities if she choses this route. This letter will be translated into Korean. 

Dear Birth Mother,

             Hello, our names are Patrick James Chapman and Ashley Lara Chapman, and the purpose for this letter is to communicate our desire for adopting a child into a loving home.

We know that many mothers face difficult decisions with their children. To any mother who loves her child but cannot take care of her child for whatever reason, we understand that she faces difficult decisions, and we hope that she might see us as a way that her child can be raised in a loving, safe, and Godly home.

First, let me explain a little bit about ourselves. Patrick and Ashley are both from the United States, but they both now live about 50Km South of Seoul. They are both 29 years old and have been married for 5.5 years. Patrick is from the State of Colorado and has 4 brothers and 3 sisters. He holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Engineering Management, a Master’s Degree in Business Administration, and has been a pilot for 7 years. Ashley is from California and has 4 brothers. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Education and a Teaching Credential.  For the past 7 years she has been an elementary school teacher, English teacher, and Children’s Ministry Director at our church. We also have a small gentle dog (dachshund) who is very good with children. We have always wanted to be parents, and feel that we are ready to raise children in a stable, loving home.

Our home is ready to receive a baby. We have a 3 bedroom/2 bathroom apartment, a hospital sits across the street, and we are surrounded by a close community and friends who also have young children. Ashley will stay home to raise our children.

We know that every mother is concerned for the well-being of her child, and as potential adoptive parents, we have several promises that we want to communicate. As parents we will love your child as our own, and unconditionally just as God loves us. We want to teach our children to know God and honor Him with their life. Additionally, we want to honor any wishes that the birth parents have for their child, as well as honor the child’s cultural ethnic heritage. Lastly, we want to give our children the opportunity to travel and for a good education so that they have the opportunity to pursue whatever interests them as they grow into adulthood.

We are pursuing private adoption because it will allow the child to be cared for from infancy.  If we go through an agency we cannot begin the adoption process until a child is six months old.  The legal process would then take an additional 18 months – 2 years.  We believe those early years in a child’s life are critical for their development and success in life. If you are interested in meeting with us concerning your child, our contact information is below. We have also included a Korean friend’s information for help with translation.

Patrick and Ashley Chapman                                       M****

Email: ashleyLchapman@gmail.com                        Email:

Phone: 010-4773-3771                                                   Phone:

5. The Hospital President

Last week at work, M**** brought me into her office.  She said she had been talking to her husband (a well known business man in the area) and he thinks that our best bet for getting into contact with a birth mother is through the hospitals.  He is on a community board with two hospital presidents from the local area. She said that he would talk to them and get some information. 

So, in typical Korean fashion, when I returned to work two days later, M****'s husband had already talked to one of the presidents (the other was not at the meeting).  Not only did he talk to him, he told him all about us and our desire to adopt.  Have I mentioned that I have yet to even meet M****'s husband!  The President (I wish I knew his name) said that he will do everything he can to help us.

We are still in shock at how quickly all of this is coming together.  We recognize that in the end, we may not adopt at all.  But if we do, we want to share every step of it with YOU.

4. The Baby Box

Before you read on, please watch this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwV9w5pd9go

I had heard of the place through the church we attend, Songtan Central Baptist.  Our pastor, Nelson Chapman, (great name!) had met Pastor Lee Jong Nak and wrote about him on his blog...

http://www.songtanbaptist.com/blog/2013/02/19/the-korean-baby-box-will-soon-open-its-story-of-love-around-the-world/

When I went to work two weeks ago I told M**** about the Baby Box and asked her if those babies are adoptable.  M**** is one of the nicest women I have ever met.  She and I have talked about my desire (and Patrick's) to have children and start a family and she is doing everything she can to help us.  She said we have touched her heart and she wants to help.  When I came back to work two days later she had already contacted the Baby Box and talked to Pastor Lee personally.  Sidenote: this is one thing I love about Korea, everyone is so willing to help and if they say they are going to do something they ALWAYS follow through and go above and beyond.  Pastor Lee explained that if the babies are in fact left in the box they must go to an Orphanage because there is no parent to consent to adoption on behalf of the child.  Private adoption can only happen if the mother is willing to consent and go through the legal process.  Since most mother's are leaving their child in the box because they do not want their name attached it doesn't seem like a good lead for us. 

However, after M***** gave me the news she leaned in and whispered, "I know that sometimes he meets the mothers."  My heart jumped out of my chest a little.  Patrick and I spoke a lot that week about what private adoption could or should look like.  What would we want to say to a potential birth mother? What information would she want to know about us?  This is where the akward part of private adoption comes into play. 

We had joked with our friends about handing out business cards with our names on them.  But after some real thought on the subject we decided to write a letter expressing our intentions, facts about us, and our message to a future birth mother. Luckily for us, we attended a marriage conference in Seoul the following weekend and had two hours in the car each way to jot down some notes.

M***** said she would like to take me to the Baby Box to meet Pastor Lee soon but nothing has been arranged just yet.  Patrick and I would like to have our letter completed and our intentions ready to share.

3. Ashley gets a JOB!

So there I was (Ashley) waiting up for Patrick to come home from a late sortie and happened to be checking my email.  An email popped up from a girl in the squadron titled "Cool Job Opportunity" and it read...

"Hey there everyone!!!!! I have a really good job opportunity for anyone who may be interested.

Who:  M***** is the owner of the English speaking library. She's very nice and easy to work for:).

What: Paid Position where you will be working with Korean students, who are trying to learn English through reading. (You do not need to know any Korean.) Your main task will be discussing English books with the children. It is a very simple, yet rewarding, job!

When: The job will be available November 4th because I am leaving for home on the 14th. You would work Mondays and Wednesdays from 2pm-7pm.

Where: The library is located in Osan. You are reimbursed for gas!

Please let me know ASAP if you are interested in this amazing opportunity to help these Korean students succeed! Since there is only one position available, I will contact the first one who responds with serious interest. If you have questions, feel free to ask. I have loved working there!!!!!"
I was pretty excited and responded right away.  Turns out I was the first of many to respond so I got the job.  Good timing ;) I later found out that the job is not legal because I don't have a work Visa so I went back and forth on what to do.  It seemed so perfect and was a way for me to get into the community.  I am calling this season of our lives the "season of yes" because I am attempting to follow where the Lord leads and just say YES.  This job seemed to fall right into my lap but I didn't want to jeopardize Patrick's job by doing something illegal.  I finally decided to take the job as a volunteer.  I told M***** I don't need to be paid but that I want to work for her for the experience.  She agreed and I started the job a few weeks ago.  It is a TON of fun. M**** comes into play later in our adoption journey. :)  

2. Looking to adopt abroad?

Our first Sunday in Korea we attended Songtan Central Baptist Church. http://www.songtanbaptist.com/  We noticed on the back of the bulletin they had praises/prayer requests for families in the congregation who were in the process of completing their adoptions. We later found out that they were private adoptions!  This made the idea of private adoption very real.  Especially since the back of the bulletin asked for prayer for the "Chapman family."  Different Chapmans of course, but it made us smile. Since we had no connections in the community or any idea of how to go about private adoption we continued to lean toward using an agency if possible.

In early September I borrowed a Seoul Travel book and was browsing through it with a friend as I prepared for Martha James' visit.  I was telling her about our interest in adoption and right at that moment I flipped to an full page ad in the back that said, "Looking to adopt abroad?"  I wanted to scream, "YESSS!" It was for www.adopt-abroad.com  We discovered that this agency has a social worker in Seoul who could travel to our house to conduct the home study!  It seemed perfect.

That same week another friend asked Patrick and I to come over and review with them the info we had received thus far about adoption while in Korea.  That was a good push for us to do a bit more research.  Here is a great overview site about Korean adoption by the U.S. Department of State http://adoption.state.gov/country_information/country_specific_info.php?country-select=south_korea

 At this point we were still discovering what type of adoption might be possible while living abroad.  We didn't have a preference in what country our child came from.  We thought it would be great if we could identify with our child by having experienced their culture so with that in mind Korean or American adoption would work. However, we also had to keep our strict 1.5-2 year time limit in mind and so a Moroccan adoption seemed best since the website said they had the shortest wait times.  We later learned that Moroccan adoptions were closed last year and the website was incorrect.  This made us question using this agency and we seemed to be back at square one. 

In our research during this time we also discovered that international adoption is expensive typically ranging from 30- 50K.  Of course we are more than willing to make it happen if this is what the Lord calls us to do but we certianly aren't going to make that decision willy-nilly!

1. Welcome to our Chapventure

Please read the following knowing that we are doing our best to get this information to you as quickly as possible and therefore do not have the time required to make this blog as polished as we might like.  There will be typo's, please ignore them!

Anyeonghaseo! (hello) Welcome to our blog about living in South Korea, military life, and our adoption journey. We hope this blog will make the distance from family and friends diminish as you share in our life adventures...or as we call them "Chapventures."

I (Ashley) started a blog right after we got married, over five years ago now, and quickly realized I am not the type to sit in front of a computer for a second longer than I have to.  However, after moving abroad, feeling like we are a million miles away at times, and most importantly...seeing God begin to open doors for adoption...we simply MUST share!

We moved to Osan Airbase in early August of this year (2013).  We have quickly gotten settled into our home and even hosted several visitors [Dan (Patrick's dad), Martha (Ashley's friend and "sister"), and Tdub and Kate (brother and sis-in-law)].  We are enjoying base living and the culture of Korea more than we expected...but more on that later. 

The idea of adoption began before we were even married.  I had always loved the idea of adoption, how it mirrors our adoption in Christ, and the beauty of that kind of love.  Since I have worked with children most of my life I have often thought (yep, I could take this one home and love them as my own).  I recognized that my heart seems to be a little more open than most in that department.  If adoption were that simple, we would probably have a dozen kids by now.  The one aspect of adoption that has always baffled me is...how do you "choose" a child? How do you decide where to adopt from?  Neither Patrick or I had a strong call to adopt from a specific place. However, when we heard that we would be reassigned to live in South Korea we wondered if adoption might be in our futre and began to talk about it a bit more seriously. 

I researched adoption online and discovered that children in Korea are not eligible for international adoption until six months of age.  Once the process begins it takes about twelve to eighteen months for completion.  For Patrick and I, this is not an option for two reasons.  1. We are only stationed in Korea for two years and it would be very risky and costly to attempt.  2. We are first time parents and would like to grow our family with an infant.  We haven't experienced the stages of development first hand so bringing a two year old into our home would be quite difficult.  (This is our opinion - we recognize that many people have adopted in this way but it is not OUR first choice.)

Our research then turned to the idea of "private adoption."  This means that we would not go through an agency but rather a birth mother would have to agree to work with us and a private lawyer that we would pay out of pocket. The private adoption process takes about a month for completion and is a fraction of the cost of using an agency.  As you can imagine, this is not a common practice in Korea and the prospect of "finding a birth mom" is daunting and a little akward.

So, here we are.   We know we want to grow our family, we're not getting pregnant and receiving little info from doctors as to why that could be, and we are both feeling the tug toward adoption more and more.  It seems that everywhere we go and everyone we meet is leading us toward a Korean adoption.  I will try to break up the following posts so you can follow along on our journey.  Here we go...