This weekend Patrick and I completed our Home Study visit. The Home Study consisted of two days worth of training and interviews. Our caseworker, Monica, was really nice and we had a lot in common with her so the process was more relaxed than we had anticipated. Some of our interviews were completed while we made pizza together.
We have three options for adoption at this time. The first is U.S. domestic adoption. We have been placed on the list with Small World Adoption but they have made it clear that birthmothers almost never chose families who live overseas. U.S. domestic adoption is also the most risky choice because 3 out of 4 birthmothers end up changing their mind after they have the baby. They told us to expect to lose 3 of our matches before we actually come home with a child. The nice part about this path is that you end up with an infant. After all we learned this weekend about attachment issues, coming home with a child as young as possible is really important to us.
The second option is China Special Needs adoption. Small World works directly with some orphanages in China and has access to a "kids with special needs" list that comes out every 6 weeks. We were able to fill out a form siting which needs we were willing to take in. That was the worst piece of paper I have ever had to fill out because A) you imagine your child having every possible disability and B) it is tough to turn a child away because you would never say no to the needs of a child you had biologically. Most of these children have minor correctable special needs like a heart murmur, webbed feet, or even a food allergy. Patrick is pretty excited about the possibility of having a child with webbed feet! The plus sides to this program are that China is close geographically
(cheaper/easier flights), our agency has a good reputation with them, and the program has been stable for many years. Once the paperwork is started families usually have their child home within a year. However, it is rare/seemingly impossible to come home with an infant and the youngest we would be able to adopt would be a child around 2 years old. We are both undecided on whether to pursue this avenue so we are just continuing on with the paperwork and will need to make a decision about a month from now.
The third option is a private Korean adoption. This option really would have to choose us rather than us seeking after it. As you know, we have a letter out to many social and political figures around Korea (we updated it an added pictures today). This week the letter went out to a very popular band's blog page and next week our photo and letter will be put into a local paper. Today, we went to the U.S. embassy in Seoul to talk face to face with someone in the Citizen Services department. With all the technology out there it is amazing how much more information you can get from just talking face to face with someone! We are fairly confident that we can find a Korean lawyer and judge to sign off on a adoption on the Korean side but we weren't sure how we would get U.S. citizenship for a child. Currently, the law states that you must have the child residing in your home for 2 years before you can apply for citizenship. Since we only have 1.5 years left in country that poses a big problem. We found out today two bits of good news:
1. Although Korea is set to join the Hague Convention(banning private adoption) in July of 2014 they will have about a 2 year transition period before the law will be enforced so we have more time to complete an adoption than we thought!
2. There is a special "humanitarian parole" you can file for to get your child into the U.S. but it is a case by case basis and there is no guarantee that we would be granted one. The man we spoke with at the embassy gave us his direct email address and will be sending us the list of credentials used to grant humanitarian parole. We are praying there is some sort of military clause in there.
Side note about the trip to the Embassy- our appointment was made to let us into the wrong side of the embassy and we were told "too bad, make another appointment and come back." We were a bit defeated but a few phone calls later we talked to a very helpful lady that got us cleared to come in and speak with Citizen Services. The Embassy is heavily guarded so it was pretty special that we were able to get in and didn't have to make another trip to Seoul.
We are both excited to see the ball rolling and are requesting your prayers as we seek some guidance in what type of adoption to pursue for our family. There is more involved than we ever anticipated but we are hopeful.
